bitter sweet past..past tense

Lately…I’ve started downloading songs from ARES…songs of the past …versi2 rock kapak…I’ve always like Search and Wings…they  reminded me certain memories that I used to try to put at the back of my mind

I am actually thankful to have all these memories…they have given me better perspective in life…taught me how to prioritise my options…learned to differentiate and read  people’s intentions…

I used to be naïve…I used to think that friendship lasts forever..that actually hurt me in the end…in retrospect it was a good experience that taught me that when it comes to feelings, people are willing to do EVERYTHING to get what they want…they lied…they screwed you up and finally their  true intentions are revealed….

I learned to be wary of man…even if one of them is my husband…I become more cautious and look over my shoulders too many times…

I learned to guard my feelings and not to trust people easily especially those who are wayyyyyyyy to friendly with me….i learned that to value friendship is to be a FRIEND regardless of who they are…and not to expect to have someone who I think is  a FRIEND who cares…I need to start caring for others….to me friends come and go..and I need to stay as a friend…

Halal flour in Malaysia

 while i was strolling in MAHA, i came across this booth that attracted my attention it was TEPUNG GANDUM CAP BIDARA .
I was really excited because they are selling high protein flour...for those who are in the dark with the term, it is actually referring to the type of flour used to bake bread and make them look ever so fluffy...I bought 4 packets. WHY? because it was way cheaper than buying this flour in LMC or MJ Bakersworld. it is only rm2.50 per packet... i was actually attracted to it because the company claimed that they do not use Benzoyl Peroxide to bleach the flour. it is still debated whether this chemical can seriously affect health. Read the article here and here the company also claims that it is 100% muslim made and imported from Turkey. I think it is about time for muslims to support Muslim products. i haven't tried baking with it yet..perhaps today as tomorrow we would be going to Sungai Bil for a picnic. i planned to bring some bread to be eaten during the picnic. will update once i have baked with it.

FRUIT COBBLER...YUM YUM

fruit what? ...don't ask me.. asked Chef Wan..i took it from his recipe from one of his cookbooks. i was a bit apprehensive to try it but the picture looked so tempting...noticed how things look so lovely in the cookbooks and when you actually tried them they turned out like poop...Cik Esah warned me..."you are too old to be fooled by the picture, Puan" ..Oh well...Do I listen? ME? of course not....

half way through the baking process I realised that the batter required the juice of half a lemon.. and i had none so i dashed to the Chinese shop nearby (actually not so nearby) to buy me some lemon..mind you the mixer was still on when I left the house...all the way I grumbled to myself...

But all that was rewarded when the sweet lingering smell of vanilla was enveloping the whole house as the dessert was baking in the oven.. i felt a sense of achievement...yet another successful mission of not setting the whole house on fire....

as time goes by... i realised my limitation...me and cakes..we never get along well...everytime i tried baking some cakes..it will turned out a disaster..that's why i settle with baking bread instead..they are more..ME-friendly...

anyway...the whole house liked it and this has inspired me to practise baking more cakes...(woops....why do i hear warning bell ringing in my head) 

    bottomline is...I need to keep on trying and stop being so negative with myself...i should start practising what i had preached the children in school...after all...i'm not out to impress anyone but MYSELF..if i could beat this small odd...maybe i could also face the other hurdle that has been drowning my self-motivation and confidence....well...one step at a time

MAHA 2010 ..A BLAST

I've heard about MAHA for soooooooooo long yet i was not able to attend it everytime it was organised until last Tuesday. Boy! I was like in a candy store! both me and him arrived at the scene around 10.10a.m. Talk about being eager...

i was proud to say that i have visited almost all the exhibition centres except the section where they had the cattle and such...what a bummer!

anyway...i found a lot of interesting cool stuff there...(bought lots too!) i bought sardine ikan keli (who would have thought of making catfish into canned fish) it could be yucky and icky...but still the adventurous part of me wanted to give it a try...i won't die, would i? then i bought 1set of taharah soap and skincare system...i've tried the mud soap before and it really worked wonders on my skin so now i'm trying on their skin care product..

Then we bought some keropok lekor frozen of course...halal marshmallows, halal 100% bumiputera flour...(the best part is..it is cheaper than then ones bought in baking shop), some sugar-free stevia product. (will be blogging about all these products later).

we went on where our feet took us and eventually discovered this stall that was selling ayam serama..."pretty looking thing" i told myself...when we asked the price..it was a whopping rm1000...one rooster even cost rm20K! MAN! that's a lot of money to be spent on a small or shall i say midget chick!

before going back home we bought some yam (which later caused severe itchiness all over my mouth), jackfruit and a coconut...

overall,.... it was fun couple day out without the kids! we should do this more often....we came back happy, tired and rm120 poorer (luckily i did not bring more than rm45, if not i would be dead broke by the end of the month)

Important things to have if a child is feverish

Don't take for granted if your child is feverish...

Yes, i Learned it through the hard way...a couple of weeks ago the children in this house had chicken pox. obviously, widad contracted the disease as well...Within the course of two days she develop fever which i thought was normal and as a routine safety measure i fed her the necessary stuff like paracetamol, cough syrup and i dabbed wet towel on her head once in a while.

what i did not realise that the temperature could fluctuate so greatly up to the point she had seizure. we panicked and in the end she had to spend the night in the hospital. a few days after that her temperature remained high. that really disturbed me..i cried and blamed myself for not really taking care of her enough..

i have now made a strong mental note that if they are feverish

STEP 1:

MEDICAL KIT MUST BE READY

-syrup paracetamol

-cough syrup

syrup piriton

-suppository paracetamol ( or ubat bontot) whenever the you feel the temperature is high. don't wait...or hesitate...just do

STEP 2

GET SOME TRADITIONAL MEDICAL TREATMENT

- find some hibiscus leaves. It will help in cooling down the fever. crush the leaves in a small basin of water until all the sticky and gooey stuff comes out. rub it all over the child. You will notice that the temperature will go down significantly.

STEP 3

FEED THE FEVERISH CHILD WITH PROMEGRANATE (delima) OR COCONUT WATER

-buy the fresh fruit and squeeze the juice out. feed the feverish child around 20 ml every 3 to 4 hours. Do this at least 2 to 3 days.

- a friend of mine gave this tip. i've tested the tip and it really works

STEP 4

CHECK THEIR TEMPERATURE EVERY 1 HOUR if the fever is very high

-Invest in a good quality digital temperature. check every hour. always remember that if you put the temperature under her armpit you need to plus 1 more degree Celcius (this is according to my sister who is a nurse). once the temperature gets to 39 degrees celcius, you need to insert the suppository paracetamol through the anus.

STEP 5

RUB THE HIBISCUS+WATER EXTRACT ALL OVER ESPECIALLY HIDDEN PLACES

- You need to do this especially under the armpits, the neck and other places.

THIS IS JUST A PREVENTIVE MEASURE TO REMIND MYSELF. WE STILL NEED TO CONSULT THE DOCTOR. but i actually don't like feeding my children with antibiotics everytime they are sick. just my two cents...

MONAVIE....

the first time I heard of this product...i questioned the reliability of this product because of course it is an MLM product and walid was one of it unsuspecting victim...(in my mind i was like..."oh God..here we go again")..last night i was being duped to go to one of its talk...and i thought ...this would be one of those pumped up powered up speech about how good the product is...how money have changed them..yada yada yada...

so of course with all the negativity charged up within me as i entered the hall i was very sceptical...i was actually surprise to listen to their speech...NO i'm not going to sell Monavie after this...that HIS job...that's what he wanted to do...i was looking at how well motivated this couple are: Gina and Steve Merritt..they are the crown black diamond...(i guessed maybe they are at the top rank ..i supposed)

there are a few lesson i learned from them

LESSON NUMBER 1

- BE CONSISTENT AND PERSISTENT

easier said than done but achievable...motivated people like them look at hurdles as challenges that propel them further.  Maybe I need to convince myself that i can do a lot of things too. they started from scratch too..they were poor and broke (well..who isn't ). one of the reasons why i'm starting this blog is to sharpen my writing skills and to remind myself a thing or two about life.. therefore, i need to tell myself that i need to be persistent...one at a time and day by day...

LESSON NUMBER 2

-DREAM AND SET YOUR GOAL

DREAMS? very subjective...some people dream of being rich...having a lot of money etc...but at the end of the day...everyone wants to be happy...money can't buy me love but it helps to me me happy..right?happiness is subjective and differs from one person to another...therefore, i will start thinking of my dreams...start wanting something for myself for a change.

LESSON NUMBER 3

FACE YOUR FEAR

- WHAT DO I FEAR THE MOST? public humiliation? shame? self gratification? i don't know...they are countless...i know i need to start somewhere...i need to stop waiting for something good to happen...i need to go out and make it happen...

the talk was actually quite entertaining and full of inspiration..i need to attend more of these type of public events.
-

MOTIVATION - PART 1

i came across this the other day while i was tutoring Luqman...it was uplifting and i need to keep this to remind myself of the important things...

"a man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then, it seemed to stopped making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

   Therefore, the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. However, it had a swollen body and small shrivelled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled wings. it never was able to fly.

   What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

   Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. if we go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been."

    I could not help but agree with the story above. In retrospect,  my profession has given me the opportunity to meet many unusual and colourful characters who I can't help but wonder how they would turn out later in life. Sometimes, in the course of action I worry myself whether I have helped them in any way possible because to me, they could probably have a bleak future. Perhaps I need to stand back and watch them grow.( like what the man is supposed to do in the first place). Perhaps they need to make all the mistake in life and realise that life is hard and it is a struggle to continue living...or perhaps I need to stop worrying too much....they will be fine and turn out OK

a picnic at sungai batang kali

yesterday was a blast! widad was a bit feverish but that did not hamper our spirit of having a picnic...i dragged the reluctant cik esah to tag along...armed with suppository paracetamol and cool fever and a hugh basket full of food enough to feed a batalion of soldier ...we started our journey at around 8 a.m.

yes...it was a bit crazy i supposed to go at that hour...maybe its too early...but by the time we reached the place...some other cars were also looking for a spot to park. Alhamdulillah...we got the best spot and it was shady...and we also got a picnic spot under a shed...saving us the worry if it rained later in the evening...

mak ngah and pak ngah brought their nephew, thariq...and the girls bonded well with him in no time...judging from the way they look at the water i knew they were too excited to jumped into the water.

we reached the place at 9.30...and the kids started going into the water at about the same time. by the time we started barbecueing...many other families started to fill up the spaces..

it was fun...i could feel that the girls were happy they were able to swim and play in the water...maybe walid was right about one thing...kids... they are easy to please..they don't need holidays to exotic places like we do...simple things will do...but i can't bring myself to go anywhere without them...

we left the place at almost 2.45 pm...and stopped at Batang Kali Mosque..then we went to Kuala Kubu Bharu to checkout a new picnic place..Alor Lempah...for out next picnic spot next week...but to our dismay..it was not up to our expectation...the water is grey and murky..

we decided to head home and reached home around 5.45 p.m. 

Recollection of yesterday and things to do today

yesterday i was stuck with tonnes of work...although the school holiday has started, it doesn't change the fact that work never stop 'working' and we never stop moving...

i started planning for grocery shopping but Cik Esah insisted that we go later in the afternoon when she had finished with the chores..i relented though i know if i didn't go early...i will be caught up with work and be too lazy to do anything...true enough...i decided to skip lunch and type all the sijil berhenti and akuan sekolah..i reached home around 4.30..feeling so tired

this morning....i have to do my grocery shopping + buying stuff for tomorrow...etc...so here it goes...

A LOT OF THINGS IN MY HEAD

Some people walk into life knowing for sure what they want or what they will do...i would probably consider myself stumbling and struggling with life and myself basically...

i'm not young anymore...and as i looked back in retrospect i realise that a lot of things have taught me about life and make me a stronger person...

therefore...i'm creating this blog to recollect the memories that will soon fade as age catches up with me....to remind myself of the pain and fear that had blanket my heart and the joy that helps wash the pain away....