Implantation bleeding

This past few weeks had been by far the most turbulent weeks for me. Initially, at the start of Ramadan, I thought I was having my regular period. It was odd however when it came out very little and brownish or sometimes blackish. I thought it was because I started drinking green tea and royal jelly. On the urging of my maid, I stopped this ritual, still nothing happened. My period was the same, brownish. After 12 days, some friends suggested that I should do a pregnancy test. I thought it was silly, but my curiosity got the better of me. I did it anyway and to my surprise, there were two lines although the other one was barely visible. I got curious and read up on the internet. I found out about Implantation Bleeding. I was actually really pregnant! After 4 years! Imagine that..
    I was a bit worried though because the spotting on my panties had increased. The next day, i went to a clinic, and after an UPT and a scan, still the doctors were not sure whether I was really pregnant as it was too early. I was told to come again next week. The next day, at work, I experienced severe pain. I noticed there were a lot of blood on my pad. Instinctively, I knew something was not right. I drove home and when I was in the toilet i noticed two lumps of goo and blood came out after I experinced severe pain. I called up the doctor, she asked me whether the thing that came out resembled fish gut. It WAS! I had to go to the hospital quick!
       Was I sad? I'm not sure..Do I really want to be pregnant? Yes..but still I have doubts...