TAKOYAKI PAN MURAH @ CHEAP

sekarang ni jasmaine dah mula gila kan kaya ball. as a doting mother..mula2 aku layankan dia mkn benda tu hari2 di Tesco. EVERY WEEKEND without fail dia akan beli..RM5 for 20 pieces which she could swallow in a matter of 15 minutes. 
     i started googling about this kayaball and discovered about takoyaki. then i read somewhere you can actually buy takoyaki grill or takoyaki pan. ada 2 jenis takoyaki grill, yg bulat n yg rectangular. mula2 nk beli yg rectangular tu.kalau korang share ramai2 beli dgn solelyonline, dia bole tu bole bg harga dealer. tp lps pk lama2, aku ada baca review x best psl pakai electric takoyaki pan ni coz ada yg terbakar (voltage jepun x sama dgn kita) so aku decide nk beli takoyaki pan yg empat segi mcm ni . paling2 teruk pun aku cuma kena control api je kan.
so bila google lagi aku jumpa satu company  malaysia yg import pan ni. namanya MTB marketing. RM130 skali dgn shipping. ni tokey dia melayu. tp sbb jauh sgt kat kelantan,aku risau kalau2 aku x bleh follow up bila xdpt brg...so google lagi jumpa Hocatsu Sdn Bhd..ni kat sunway..korang nk g retail shop dia pun bole.
admin exec dia email price list. nah aku bg korang tgk kat sini..mana tau...bole beli brg2 cooking lain yg canggih manggih utk koleksi memenuhkan umah.
dia bg quotation harga pan tu rm87.60 + rm20 (courier)= rm107.60
so beli la sapa2 yg budget conscious mcm aku ni..aku x dpt untung apa..cuma nk mudah kan keja korang yg tercari2...kalau ada problem..bole tanya aku

POST- MISCARRIAGE PERIOD

I kept telling myself that this is not a pregnancy..I just need some time to recuperate at home. At home I was greeted with loneliness and the urge to feel normal again. I marked books, I slept, did some facebooking until my butt felt sore to make that emptiness go away.  Am I in denial?

     The night I came home from the hospital, both of us slept in each other's arm. I asked him" Are we sad?" "No, I'm just glad that you are ok" was the reply. I was relieved because there was no pressure and urgency for this pregnancy to materialise. ..Or so I thought..

 The day after I came back from the hospital, a friend sent a sms of how sorry she felt for me and gave me her words of encouragement. Immediately, I was flooded with sadness..I hugged Walid and cried in his arms. He reminded me of our conversation earlier. At the back of my conscious mind, I knew it was not meant to be, emotionally I knew I was not sad for losing the pregnancy. Then why did I cry? Was I in one of those mood swings?

     Chris called up just now to check whether I was alright. Of course I was ok..nothing was wrong except probably I need to open up and talk about this episode. We talked about a lot of things...That seemed to clear my head from the things I should not think about.

      I'm fine..in case you are wondering.....:)

SUFFERING FROM A MISCARRIAGE

Throughout my life, this was my first miscarriage . The word miscarriage itself was awkward to me because I didn't actually think I was pregnant. When the clerk at the counter asked "Ini anak ke berapa, Puan?" I was stunned. I could see people around me in pink gowns chattering away with each other merrily about babies and here I was still trying to comprehend what was happening to my own body.

      I was not sad to lose this pregnancy. Aku redha. Read THIS then you will understand. Things happen for a reason. When the gynecologist called me in and scanned my uterus, she confirmed that everything that should come out had came out. I felt a sense of relief. We had a lengthy discussion about being pregnant again. I was reminded that wanting to be pregnant again should be a conscious effort starting from now. I can't leave to chance anymore. As I am over 35 now, the possibility of a problematic pregnancy is higher. I came out from the room, and sat with same group of ladies earlier. It turned out that all of us shared the same fate.. one  lady who was chirpy earlier was quite sad..she wanted the pregnancy really bad..i really pitied her

      When everything was settled..i bid them farewell..surprisingly all of us hugged each other as if we had known each other for years...one thing for sure..all of us understood what each of us felt...

Implantation bleeding

This past few weeks had been by far the most turbulent weeks for me. Initially, at the start of Ramadan, I thought I was having my regular period. It was odd however when it came out very little and brownish or sometimes blackish. I thought it was because I started drinking green tea and royal jelly. On the urging of my maid, I stopped this ritual, still nothing happened. My period was the same, brownish. After 12 days, some friends suggested that I should do a pregnancy test. I thought it was silly, but my curiosity got the better of me. I did it anyway and to my surprise, there were two lines although the other one was barely visible. I got curious and read up on the internet. I found out about Implantation Bleeding. I was actually really pregnant! After 4 years! Imagine that..
    I was a bit worried though because the spotting on my panties had increased. The next day, i went to a clinic, and after an UPT and a scan, still the doctors were not sure whether I was really pregnant as it was too early. I was told to come again next week. The next day, at work, I experienced severe pain. I noticed there were a lot of blood on my pad. Instinctively, I knew something was not right. I drove home and when I was in the toilet i noticed two lumps of goo and blood came out after I experinced severe pain. I called up the doctor, she asked me whether the thing that came out resembled fish gut. It WAS! I had to go to the hospital quick!
       Was I sad? I'm not sure..Do I really want to be pregnant? Yes..but still I have doubts...

JAPANESE SAVOURY BREAD

It has been ages since i last baked these buns..why? because to me it is a bit tedious as the dough seemed to have strange fondness to stick on my fingers...why is it that way? probably i added a lot of liquid in the mixture and for some irrepressed consciousness  i refused to calculate the amount of water. although at the back of my mind i knew that i had to do that to ensure the buns will come out prettily...

oh well...the buns did not last long. the longest was until the next day...nobody is complaining. so why should i complain :)

(yay! this is the point where u readers should congratulate me for finally able to put up a pic here...ahahhahah..my first successful attempt)

ISTIQAMAH..they called it...i called it..when you are bored...u bake cake...banana cake!

hmmmm...it has been ages since i came here and update my blog...i could see some cobwebs in the corner..it is amusing to realise how time flies yet a lot of things still remain the same....for example...i thought that by having a blog will make me more focus and will help me put my thoughts down...yet i remain the same...
  a few days ago i decided to bake a banana cake...this is  the only cake the kids will eat apart from chocolate cake....funnily enough it turned out ok...just picture this ...a mother frantically mixing the ingredients with an overzealous 3 year-old who wanted to help...i remembered the last time i baked a banana cake was when widad poured a ladle full of green curry on top of my cooling banana cake...
anyway....i'm actually in the Deepavalli mode...not planning to do anything fancy...maybe bake a few sausage rolls and a few steam choc cake....oh yeah...will write on that soon...

stealing my precious times............

i haven't got the time to update this blog though my heart is screaming to do so...lately i have experimented with a lot of recipes which sometimes proved disasterous given the fact that i changed the ingredient according to my whim and fancy...but they eventually turned ok...the kids walloped the whole thing...


i am actually waiting for my choc bread to proof...i have a few minutes left before i start baking them...
so far i tried baking pumpkin loaf bread...A DISASTER...the bread turned out to be extra yellow...scary i tell u!
as for potato bun..i used to buy and use potato flakes for my potato bun..but the past few days i couldn't find them anywhere near rawang...so i decided to substitute it with mashed potato...the dough was too soggy...sticking everywhere,...making me curse myself even more...
but the end result made my nostril flared with pride....the kids, cik esah and walid loved them....suffice to say i was proud with my escapade...


woops! time's up...got to go to bake the choc buns now...toodles!

hematuria...or whatever they call it

i'm not feeling well these past few days..after the banana cake incident a baked another cake... chocolate mud cake..which really look like a whitish mud..because halfway through baking i realised i had ran out dark choc...what a mess! 

personally i thought it did not taste that good but the kids and hubby said..its good...so probably its good..i don't know...

two days ago..i started to have this funny feeling..everytime i urinate..i feel like i want to urinate over and over again...this feeling continued well into midnight when i finally urinate with 2 drops of blood..i'm like...uh ooo...this is not good...i searched the internet and i read in some website it only hematuria and probably just urinary tract infection....when i woke up the next morning..i started pissing blood...my urine looked murky..at one point..it did really looked bloody..at that point onwards...i started to feel pain severely whenever i urinate...now i'm on medication..i still occasionally feel the pain although it is not as painful as before...the moral lesson that you should learn from this story is, get yourself tested and not wait till the last minute like yours truly....

BANDAR TASIK PUTERI EARTHQUAKE AND ERUPTION

this entry has nothing to do with any natural disaster that happened recently...just to relate to an event that happened yesterday....

 sufi has been nagging me  about a promise i made to her...she kept complaining that i only baked chocolate cake...she wanted her banana cake...

so a day before yesterday.. i bought  a comb of bananas.. and let them ripe for a day... i planned to bake the cake after i finished with tuition...(yes... poor me have to cari makan first)...when i got everything ready...i started baking...i could feel disaster started to tap at my door..it started with not having any castor sugar...but i told myself...never mind i'll make do with what i have...i used brown sugar...then after a while, i realised that i didn't have enough vegetable oil...so i just substituted with cooking oil...(pemalas betul nak pegi beli)

then ....i normally baked cakes at 175-180 degrees... but i decided to to bake according to the recommended temperature around 160 degrees...(oh boy! i'm in a great surprise!)

the cake took a long time to bake...almost an hour...when it finally came out from the oven...it has huge holes as big as the craters on walid's face...(i kid you not!)..well is that the end of my story? hell no...more disasters coming up...

i started to have this sinking bad feeling in my tummy...but i reminded myself "that's what you get when you bake in a hurry"

i put the cake on a rack to cool...my usual drill...

without me noticing it...widad went to the dining table where i put the cake...took one scoop of kuah masak lemak ikan and poured it on top of my COOLING CAKEEEEEE!!!! ARGHHHHH!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!!

i lost it! i went ballistic and screamed my lungs out. i didn't care it was almost maghrib...i beat the crap out of her..and if it was not for Cik Esah...widad would probably ended up in a hospital ward......

everytime i look at the cake now..i felt this extreme anger at it...i wanted to throw it away but walid said we should not waste food...*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

REVIEW ON BIDARA FLOUR

I think last year during MAHA 2010 i bought 4 kilos of this bread flour...think i have commented it here 

i was actually impressed with the price hehehehhe...yes! the frugal me was talking back then...

here are some things i discovered:

a) this flour requires more liquid...if you use the flour and follow the recipe exactly..you are in for a HARDDDDD surprise...like i did!

b) it has this distinct smell or sort of like an after taste...like stale..or the smell of rice that have been kept for a long time....i gave some of the bread to my friends..they said the flour tasted and smelled ok...so...maybe it was me being picky...maybe...

c) made pretty looking buns..and fluffy looking buns.(sorry would really like to upload the pics but still unable to figure out how to upload in this blog of mine)

so...there you go folks...i think y'all should try and give your own comments...let us share...

RED VELVET CAKE

Call me an idiot...call me nuts..i have never been impressed with red velvet...i don't care whether it is the best ever cake in this whole wide world....with that statement i was actually undermining the power of a curious mind over our own self control...

a few days back i decided to feast my eye at http://www.bisousatoi.com. i stumbled across her post the one on red velvet cake...the pics were overwhelmingly superb i tell you! rima kept on writing...how she regretted not trying the recipe before this...how she kept on encouraging the readers tio give it a try...obviously i'm curious..right...i am by nature a very curious A.K.A BUSY BODY so to speak...so i made walid drive me to LMC to buy the things needed.

i started baking around 6.30pm...and at 9 pm still baking....i'm a slow worker u see...the kids were curious with my new ínvention'they had never seen something so red before in their lives...jasmaine even warned me "kalau x sedap...siap mummy!"

so after i ve finally iced the cake...i carefully cut the cake and tasteit...it was exactly like what rima had said...it was wonderful..it was marvellous..it was heavenly...it was...it was...indescribable...okay..okay...i was actually intimidated with the red colour...to me who would eat something as red as that...like you've just robbed the blood bank and pour the whole pint into your batter.... forgive me red velvet..i shall never doubt u again...

jasmaine kept on harping about the cake and kept on eating teh cake again and again...

my only complain was the cake was wayyyyyyyyy too sweet...maybe next time i have to reduce the amount of sugar used.... double thumbs up!

LOAF PROJECT

This CNY hols is driving me crazy...why? i've got tonnes of work to do...which i don't know where to begin...but eventually i managed to get 2 out of 4 done...i'm left with Module for STAR STUDENTs and monthly exam papers...phew!

during the start of the holiday...i tried baking chocolate bread...(which was not as successful ...like its predecessor..by the way) but it was a hit with jasmaine...when i cut it open there was one huge gap inside probably because of the filling and the air pocket inside the bread while it was proofing......cik sah bought me snickers instead of cadbury milk chocolate..(well i had to make do with what i have right...do u expect me to be a mean Puan by sending the old lady to the shop again ?)

oh whatever....i suck! i'm a bit pissed right now because with the amount of work i have right now...i can't bake anything...

the kids were getting sick of bread....heheheh but they are not going to see the last of it...i'm planning to bake some chocolate cake for them....oh well....see how it goes...when everything is settled....

experiment 1: sweet corn bread.....a success

i have been quite naughty lately...i've blog-hopped fron one to another and simply cut n paste recipes for own personal reference...i came across some bread recipes posted in   a forum...can't really remember the name...the pics on the bread was tempting...so i tried eventually

the moment all the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients were mixing i was telling myself that...(hmmm... looked like  a good texture) but the moment i tossed the creamy sweet corn..disaster struck! everything became watery...i knew i had to put in some flour...and by the looks of it i have poured a LOT of flour! ngeh ngeh ngeh...i was telling myself...ït's ok baby ..if it does not turn out ok..just chuck it into the bin and nobody would know"

well...my my..what a pleasant surprise when i saw it was rising pretty well...and by the time i bake it it looked like a chubby pillow...don't get me started about the smell...jasmaine and sufi came down and started sniffing the oven!

they can't even wait until the bread is cooled...i cut the bread into some slices..i thought the bread would taste a bit sweet..but it tasted just nice...and suited our tastebuds..the texture was soft...with bits of corn here and there...cik esah was telling me..."wahhh  ...mummy buat roti gardenia! sedapnya puan"..my nostril was flaring with pride...

thank you fellow contributor of the recipe..whoever u are..check the recipe from this site

i plan to bake more bread loaves after this..i hope i don't have to rely on the breadman anymore....:)

the other side of midnight

i have this nagging feeling that i can't squash...the more i try not to think of it the more it haunts me...i remember when i was young...how surreal life is..and sometimes it can be quite idealistic too...to have the perfect figure, to have the perfect grade, to have a trophy partner...and also to be married happily ever after

10 years down the road and 10 years of maturity taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life:

NUMBER 1:

I learn not to dwell too much on the past...espcially the painful thoughts that linger

NUMBER 2:

i appreaciate what i have now...a stable income, a loving husband, a happy family. i may not be rich or has a filthy rich husband...at least i'm happier than people who are less fortunate than me..although he's not perfect (so do I) we will try and learn to keep each other happy...

NUMBER 3

i learn to start thinking about ME for a change...i'm fed up being someone's door mat...

NUMBER 4

i learn to say NO...not that hard actually once u get the hang of it...i did it now without even blinking..ehahahhahahha

my utterly disasterous POTATO BUN

yesterday...as usualy...i was trying to multitask..as usual...but this time i tried something i've never done before..i tried baking chocolate chip cookies and potato buns...i know this would be an impossible feat...but a challenge is tempting right...(no u say?...i'm stubborn.. u see)...the minute i put in the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients in the mixer i know something bad will happen..like its flashing in my mind already...the dough did not form a lump at all...(oh boy oh boy...my bread is dry...)

then when i bake the dough, i left it in for 20 minutes instead 10 minutes...the bread turned out to be a bit hard..and dry (like i did not visualise it earlier!).

i gave it to a friend ..who said it was ok ...in between mouthfuls (owh what did she know...)

should have listened to my conscience that was ringing in my head..BUT I AM SO BLOODY STUBBORN!

my maid n me....

one fine afternoon:

cik esah: apa ni puan? (with a thick Indonesian accent)

Me       : tu anugerah dapat kat sekolah..

Cik Esah : Anugerah apa?

Me          : Anugerah Guru Bermotivasi SMK TD 2 2010...

Ciik Esah : (still unsatisfied) Motivasi itu apa?

Me          : kira macam x banyak songeh la...

Cik Esah : Songeh tu apa?

Me          : songeh tu x banyak soal la...bos suruh aku buat...

Cik Esah : lho....kenapa kalau di rumah kamu banyak   

                 songeh puan sama aku...?

Me          :hmmmmm....(thinking for answer) sebab aku kat 

                rumah BOSS! jadi aku banyak songeh la....

MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

At this point she went into the kitchen cursing herself saying.."salah pulak soalan saya...saya kena balik....ada saja jawapannya orang ini..."

bitter sweet past..past tense

Lately…I’ve started downloading songs from ARES…songs of the past …versi2 rock kapak…I’ve always like Search and Wings…they  reminded me certain memories that I used to try to put at the back of my mind

I am actually thankful to have all these memories…they have given me better perspective in life…taught me how to prioritise my options…learned to differentiate and read  people’s intentions…

I used to be naïve…I used to think that friendship lasts forever..that actually hurt me in the end…in retrospect it was a good experience that taught me that when it comes to feelings, people are willing to do EVERYTHING to get what they want…they lied…they screwed you up and finally their  true intentions are revealed….

I learned to be wary of man…even if one of them is my husband…I become more cautious and look over my shoulders too many times…

I learned to guard my feelings and not to trust people easily especially those who are wayyyyyyyy to friendly with me….i learned that to value friendship is to be a FRIEND regardless of who they are…and not to expect to have someone who I think is  a FRIEND who cares…I need to start caring for others….to me friends come and go..and I need to stay as a friend…

Halal flour in Malaysia

 while i was strolling in MAHA, i came across this booth that attracted my attention it was TEPUNG GANDUM CAP BIDARA .
I was really excited because they are selling high protein flour...for those who are in the dark with the term, it is actually referring to the type of flour used to bake bread and make them look ever so fluffy...I bought 4 packets. WHY? because it was way cheaper than buying this flour in LMC or MJ Bakersworld. it is only rm2.50 per packet... i was actually attracted to it because the company claimed that they do not use Benzoyl Peroxide to bleach the flour. it is still debated whether this chemical can seriously affect health. Read the article here and here the company also claims that it is 100% muslim made and imported from Turkey. I think it is about time for muslims to support Muslim products. i haven't tried baking with it yet..perhaps today as tomorrow we would be going to Sungai Bil for a picnic. i planned to bring some bread to be eaten during the picnic. will update once i have baked with it.

FRUIT COBBLER...YUM YUM

fruit what? ...don't ask me.. asked Chef Wan..i took it from his recipe from one of his cookbooks. i was a bit apprehensive to try it but the picture looked so tempting...noticed how things look so lovely in the cookbooks and when you actually tried them they turned out like poop...Cik Esah warned me..."you are too old to be fooled by the picture, Puan" ..Oh well...Do I listen? ME? of course not....

half way through the baking process I realised that the batter required the juice of half a lemon.. and i had none so i dashed to the Chinese shop nearby (actually not so nearby) to buy me some lemon..mind you the mixer was still on when I left the house...all the way I grumbled to myself...

But all that was rewarded when the sweet lingering smell of vanilla was enveloping the whole house as the dessert was baking in the oven.. i felt a sense of achievement...yet another successful mission of not setting the whole house on fire....

as time goes by... i realised my limitation...me and cakes..we never get along well...everytime i tried baking some cakes..it will turned out a disaster..that's why i settle with baking bread instead..they are more..ME-friendly...

anyway...the whole house liked it and this has inspired me to practise baking more cakes...(woops....why do i hear warning bell ringing in my head) 

    bottomline is...I need to keep on trying and stop being so negative with myself...i should start practising what i had preached the children in school...after all...i'm not out to impress anyone but MYSELF..if i could beat this small odd...maybe i could also face the other hurdle that has been drowning my self-motivation and confidence....well...one step at a time

MAHA 2010 ..A BLAST

I've heard about MAHA for soooooooooo long yet i was not able to attend it everytime it was organised until last Tuesday. Boy! I was like in a candy store! both me and him arrived at the scene around 10.10a.m. Talk about being eager...

i was proud to say that i have visited almost all the exhibition centres except the section where they had the cattle and such...what a bummer!

anyway...i found a lot of interesting cool stuff there...(bought lots too!) i bought sardine ikan keli (who would have thought of making catfish into canned fish) it could be yucky and icky...but still the adventurous part of me wanted to give it a try...i won't die, would i? then i bought 1set of taharah soap and skincare system...i've tried the mud soap before and it really worked wonders on my skin so now i'm trying on their skin care product..

Then we bought some keropok lekor frozen of course...halal marshmallows, halal 100% bumiputera flour...(the best part is..it is cheaper than then ones bought in baking shop), some sugar-free stevia product. (will be blogging about all these products later).

we went on where our feet took us and eventually discovered this stall that was selling ayam serama..."pretty looking thing" i told myself...when we asked the price..it was a whopping rm1000...one rooster even cost rm20K! MAN! that's a lot of money to be spent on a small or shall i say midget chick!

before going back home we bought some yam (which later caused severe itchiness all over my mouth), jackfruit and a coconut...

overall,.... it was fun couple day out without the kids! we should do this more often....we came back happy, tired and rm120 poorer (luckily i did not bring more than rm45, if not i would be dead broke by the end of the month)